Second babies come
faster is an understatement. I was only 2
centimeters dilated and 80% effaced at my last midwife appt. So
on
June 7th, 5 days before my due date when I called to report that
my
mucous plug had passed, the nurse poo-pooed me on the phone.
"Oh,
you could still have another 1-2 weeks to go." She said. I'm
thinking " you've got to be joking."
My plug passed, by the way, after a 3 hr nap with CD #5 Painless
childbirth playing in my headphones on repeat. I had been so
ready
and so anxious to have the baby already that I thought a little
coaxing wouldn't hurt. I was skeptical that it would work but I
knew
my body had taken the suggestions when I saw that plug!
In terms of the tapes, I hadn't been listening faithfully or
according to the prescribed schedule. I always fell "asleep"
while
listening and hoped that somehow my subconscious mind would take
Kerri's suggestions as she promised it would. But I honestly had
my
doubts. Could I really create anesthesia? Could I really conquer
my
fears? The tapes made me feel wonderful after waking up, rested
and
calm.
Anyway, after the plug passed, I called my husband at work and
my
mom, who lives about 1 and ½ hours away- to put them on alert. I
spent the rest of the afternoon keeping an eye out for
contractions
which was the nurse's suggestion. Fine. The afternoon was
uneventful. I picked up my 19 month old daughter from daycare,
fed
her, bathed her, and did the pajamas routine. Dad came home
around
8pm, I lie down with my toddler to put her to sleep and noticed
2
contractions which felt relatively painful from my usual
Braxton-
Hicks contractions. I was lying down in the dark so it was hard
to
tell the interval between the two but, I knew I should alert the
hubby.
After the baby was asleep, I went downstairs to a hubby playing
Xbox
and eating taquitos. I told him of the contractions and that my
panties felt really wet (?broken water?) but that I wasn't
leaking
like the 1st time (when the amniotic fluid ran completely down
my
leg.) He calmly said " call the midwife". I left a message for
her
then got in the shower. I had 2 or 3 more powerful birthing
waves
about 5 minutes apart and some suspicious fluid leak- my water
had
probably broken in retrospect. I knew this was it. I called my
mom
to head to the hospital before the midwife even called back.
When I
finally spoke to her, she said this was likely it and to head
out to
the birthing center at the hospital. I told the hubby who then
dropped his Xbox poker game and sprang into action. He threw the
bags in the car and then strapped in our carefully bundled
sleeping
19 month old who immediately woke up and demanded to watch the
DVD.
I sat on two towels in our SUV, by now contracting forcefully
and
breathing "Peace" to my body with the painless childbirth CD
playing
loudly in my ears. I knew we had an hour drive ahead and wasn't
sure
if we would make it. Hubby drove about 85 mph with clenched
knuckles
on the wheel. Baby girl was awake in the back watching Baby
Einstein
and relatively quiet, but her eyes were on me like she knew
something big was happening.
I felt calm but slightly afraid. It was 10pm when we left home.
I
was desperately trying to time the contractions but was unable
to do
it. They were probably every 3-5 minutes, lasting 30-90 seconds
would be my estimate. I had some breaks in between occasionally
but
not every time. "I'm really close" I thought. I spoke peace to
my
body, uncomfortable from sitting.
As we pulled off the highway, I felt ever so slightly nauseated
and
tremulous. "Transition", I thought, even though my symptoms were
very mild. The birthing waves were challenging and very tight,
lots
of pressure. Kerri's voice helped me stay on top of it- she was
sooooo calming and soothing. She was my only hope. Whatever she
said, I believed wholeheartedly somehow. " You are safe, your
baby
is safe." And I would say "yesssss." " No matter how much
power
flows through you, you only feel a pressure…" (paraphrasing)
And I
would say "yesss…" in agreement, and somehow experience less
pain.
We pulled into the ER parking lot and a cop got me out of triage
and
into a wheelchair. " You ready to pop?" he said. I answered
"Yes….."
more to something Kerri said than to him. I was wheeled into a
hall
and parked for what seemed like 10-15 minutes of unbearable
neglect,
holding a few bags and listening to Kerri, believing her when
she
said that my birthing waves were wonderful and brought me closer
to
seeing my baby and that my body had timeless wisdom, etc….
Hubby and baby girl were parking and coming in, but not before I
was
whisked upstairs by transport. I was taken to the labor and
delivery
triage room, a decent sized room, to be monitored for 20 minutes
before going into the birthing center room. I stripped down to
bare
nudity, feeling hot- my birthing waves were right on top of each
other. I bent over the stretcher with my right leg up, feeling
good
and in control of my body.
Then I had to lie on my back and they put that damned belt on
me.
The RN said I was only 2 centimeters dilated and I had to be at
4
centimeters before entering the birthing center room. My midwife
instructed the RN via phone to tell me to WALK the halls of all
things to promote dilation! I was in disbelief. I asked her if
my
contractions were big on the monitor- she said " I don't know-
you
tell me!" And I knew they were by how they felt. I also knew I
was
probably more than 2 dm dilated, but I obeyed orders. Hubby and
baby
girl arrived and I sat on the toilet. I had good relief. My 19
month
old was in hysterics! She offered me my robe, held onto my
swinging
breasts and hugged them, offered me her pacifier and rubbed my
forehead. I just sat on the toilet with back to back birthing
waves
and Kerri in my ear- telling her "Mommie is okay, mommie is
fine,"
and believing it because Kerri said so. Hubby was trying to
hold it
together but the baby crying was unnerving.
I signed some paperwork, the aide was unable to get my BP- the
hospital staff seemed really disorganized and disinterested. It
was
a very busy night, and me being in the healthcare profession, I
know
how it gets. I even think the birthing center rooms were full.
Interestingly, I wasn't able to fully visualize my self in the
birthing room, I couldn't even see my midwife showing up, I
couldn't
imagine the queen sized bed, the birthing tub- any of it! But I
just
went along with it all when my hubby and the RNs' encouraged me
to
wait till I got settled in the room, to walk the halls and wait.
But
somehow deep inside I knew "I am in transition, this baby is
coming soon."
I had to leave my screaming 19 month old to walk the halls. I
had my
robe on, but it wasn't tied, I was feeling hot and cold. I
walked up
the hall stopping for a few birthing waves and leaned on the
wall to
get through them. No way is this early labor! NO way should I be
walking in transition! But I guess because I was so calm and
going
with everyone's suggestions no one believed I was close. I felt
miserable but I was in a Zen state of mental control.
On my way back down the hall, some RNs admonished me for waking
with
my robe open and being nude beneath it. "This is a public place.
There are security cameras all over and there are also men on
this
floor," one of them said to me. "This is a maternity ward- are
you
joking!" – I thought. But I must've given her the meanest look
and I
remember holding out my arm to her with my fingers outstretched
as
if to say, "Don't you touch or come near me because I just
might
kill you!" The entire RN station was fixated on me, I must've
looked calmly crazed, but very serious. I slowly walked back to
my
triage room.
I sat on the toilet again, the baby was calmer but still upset.
Pain
pain pain! I even asked for pain meds and told hubby to call the
midwife so she could order me some. I knew I was talking out of
my
mind. I was trying to say I was ready- that this could not last
another few hours. No way could it get any worse. I knew it
couldn't-
it wasn't humanly possible to experience anything stronger than
what I was feeling. My abdomen tightened and barely relaxed
between
waves. If I was 2 cm and this was early labor then transition
and
active birth would split me in two and kill me! I was at the
limit.
I had arrived.
At some point on that toilet, a family practice OB peeked her
head
in and asked how I was doing. I barely remember saying " No, I'm
only 2 centimeters." But no way did I believe it. I was
exasperated
and remember feeling like I didn't want to go on if it was going
to
be like this. This had to be the end. She said I looked pushy.
(Later on she confided that I just had "the look"- that anyone
who
walks around naked and looking crazy is ready- so she hung
around "just in case".)
Shortly thereafter I ordered everybody out! I told my hubby to
get
himself and the baby out of there STAT! My mom had arrived and
she
would be taking baby girl home. They left and I resumed the
position
I had on the stretcher- right leg up and bent over on my elbows.
It
felt sooo good, so much relief came! Then I got scared. I heard
my
moms' voice behind me and told her to get the RN. No one was
around-
they were so busy! Then I got the most wonderful relief giving
birthing wave ever! Followed by an uncontrollable urge to push!
Oh,
if you have never had pushy urges- it is almost orgasmic!
Wonderful!
It felt awesome and I pushed out excrement and apparently some
of
the baby's head. "I'm pushing!!!" I screamed- poop landing on
the
floor and me moaning beautifully! Now people started to believe
me!
The same RN checked me and said I was complete (no kidding) and
the
baby was coming down. I climbed up on the stretcher facing the
head
of it on all fours. I was holding the head of the bed and I was
doing that wonderful pushing thing again- oh just recalling this
is
so exciting and wonderful! I was giving out some really primal
moans
and groans at the same time. Loud and life giving!
Before I knew it, the lights were on and 20 people were in the
room
telling me to flip over and to lie back so they could deliver
the
baby safely. I didn't believe them, I wanted to trust my body! I
didn't believe before that my body could know what position to
assume and what to do but it did! The stretcher began to move
and
they tried to get me to the door to get to a regular birthing
room,
then it began to move back again " We're having this baby in
triage!" I heard someone yell. It was like an episode of ER. I
handed someone my head phones- Kerri had taken me as far as she
could.
I finally gave in and flipped over and lie down on my right
side. I
remember seeing 100 faces and kinda making jokes with them.
Apparently I had pushed the babys' head out. I pushed again and
delivered the shoulder partially- the expulsory contractions
were
not as marvelous and compelling as I lay on my side. I recall a
lull
in the action like labor stopped as they were trying to deliver
her
other shoulder. I asked if I should push and they said "yes- the
baby is half out." I wanted to say " I can't" and turned to
look
at the hubby when I realized he wasn't there! He was missing his
daughters' birth! Then I got some powerful urge to have her out,
I
guess they call it the fetal ejection reflex, and in one final
moan
and push, I felt her slip down the birth canal and out.
The hubby and my midwife came in casually about 5 minutes later
and
the crowd roared " congratulations" to him. He thought they were
joking. The placenta had already been delivered and this soft,
warm,
cheesy baby was lying on my breasts. It was surreal. I had a
small
tear, got one stitch from the midwife and retired to my room-
mom
and baby girl hadn't even made it to the highway so they just
came
back. It was a memorable and wonderful night- she was born 12:44
AM-
just perfect.
No regrets, but I will say this. I have been completely
empowered by
this birth. I know my strength as a woman so to speak- In
retrospect, I was alone when I started birthing this child, just
like I would have been in the wild. I could've done it alone. I
knew
the stages of my labor when no one else recognized them. I
assumed a
natural position that was right for me. Unfortunately as a
result of
birthing from a position the OB wanted, the baby broke her left
clavicle (which at 2 weeks now is completely healed). The
midwife
said the first thing they do is an all fours position when a
shoulder is stuck. I had already been in it!
I would've called
my mother in sooner (hubby didn't want to rush her until we were
sure,
but I had a feeling…) so we didn't have to deal with the toddler
and hubby could've witnessed the birth. Ladies trust
yourselves- if you haven't had your babies yet, you won't know
what this means- I was skeptical of the phrase when I heard it
pre-partum too. But in
retrospect, mother nature took care of me. Happy and healthy
birthing- I hope you are inspired. I can't wait to have #3 and
#4 the Hypnobabies way!
Saugiedoggie
P.S. Some RN commented on the headphones and that I must've been
so
calm listening to my music. Yeah right! There's no music I know
of
that can take you there! It's Hypnobabies hypnosis all the way!