Bradley's Birth

I felt some slight leaking, which I presumed to be urinary incontinence on a Sunday afternoon at my baby shower.  Since it coincided with a sneeze, I dismissed the behavior as normal, but now I see it as the beginning of a change.  That night, as I nervously slept one last weekend with my husband out-of-town, I began to search the group postings on the net about signs of birthing time beginning.  I was beginning to wonder if the "incontinence" would last for a long time, or if this was just FTM inexperience.  On Monday, I went about my day as usual, turning in for bed around 11pm.  Now, when my husband is gone, I spoil myself and watch TV in bed.  I fell asleep with the TV on and woke up two hours later with more leaking.  It is now 1am on Tuesday morning.  So, I cleaned up and found myself awake.  So, I popped in one of the Hypnobabies cds to catch up while I was awake yet relaxed. 

However, I was unable to relax with many of the scripts that had been successfully used in earlier practice to enter deeper stages of hypnosis.  Naturally, I was frustrated and pacing my house.  I washed laundry, cleaned the bathrooms, and caught up on chores so that I could sleep in later and still have the house decent for my husband's return on Tuesday afternoon.

At five am, I sent some text messages to my DH to come home.  I was nervous and anxious, even at an estimated 38 weeks gestation, and told him that I would feel comforted if he skipped up his schedule and hurried home.  During the next hour, I began to experience pressure waves that I was successfully able to relax through by employing the breathing techniques taught in Hypnobabies home study.  I didn't initially keep track of the duration or the time intervals of the pressure waves.  Again, as a FTM, I didn't want to jump to early conclusions.  I presumed that the anxiety of my husband's last trip had stirred up some hormones and that I just needed to calm down.  It turns out that this was not possible.

As I progressed in my pregnancy, I began to store all of my jewelry and watches to avoid uncomfortable swelling.  So, it was difficult at 5:45 am to find one of my husband's old watches to time the pressure waves that kept arriving with surprising accuracy.  It looked like the waves were arriving about every 3-4 minutes.  While I closed my eyes to breathe and relax, I did miss the opportunity to accurately time the duration, but was able to note the start time of each wave.  At 6:30 am, I called my sister's house, where my mother happened to be preparing for a trip home after visiting for my baby shower on Sunday (this is still Tuesday morning, after all).  I mentioned that I would like my mother to come a babysit me to help calm my nerves.  I also noted that I had a doctor appointment later that morning, if she'd like to come along since I was so worked up.  I think my mother had her shoes on before my sister let me off of the telephone.  She drove the 30 miles in no time at all.

By the time my mother arrived to comfort me, I had been experiencing regular pressure waves for about an hour and a half, at 3-4 minute intervals.  She suggested that I should call my midwife and ask about coming into the birth center.  I agreed with her, but I felt like I needed affirmation that I was experiencing the early stages of birth and not anxiety-induced Braxton-hicks.  During the 7:30am call, I was able to keep my composure as I spoke to the after-hours answering service who notified the midwife and connected our calls.  I breathed through more waves as I also directed my mom to pack my bag according to the list in the Hypnobabies home study booklet.  I was mentally so thankful for all of the ladies who supported us at the baby shower on Sunday, as many gifts contained items packed that morning!  The midwife suggested that I come into her office to be checked for progress before being admitted to the birthing center. 

My mom and I prepared to go the birth center with all items in tow for my birthing time.  I sent another message to my DH that we were going in and he was naturally shocked into even hastier travel actions.  About the time that my mom had all items into the car to leave, my pressure waves changed.  Now, at 8am, I began to feel shaky, powerful birthing waves that were requisite of my full attention to breathe through.  I was able to pass through one of these waves to affirm to myself that my bodily functions remain normal and use the toilet one more time before settling into the car.  Great idea, BTW.

My mom, who works for the police department, may have broken the speed limit that morning, which is totally against her principles, for the 45-minute drive to the midwife's office and adjacent birth center.  However, I found the gliding sensation and quiet enclosure of the car to be very supportive and reinforcing for entering my special place in hypnosis, even though I never practiced a finger-drop as an auto-passenger previously.  The powerful pressure waves continued, but I felt safe in my special place and rode in the car with reasonable comfort as I *deserved* a comfortable birthing time.  I was even able to employ the barely introduced center switch to give my mom directions to the office during the ride.

Upon arrival at the midwife's office, I was greeted by the usual staff at 9am, which is when the office officially opens.  I was escorted to one of the exam rooms to be looked over by one of the midwives.  I waited unfortunately about 10 minutes while the morning routines were underway to get the office open.  I began to feel pushy, without ever having a gush or loss of my amniotic fluids.  This was demanding mentally to stay in my special place where I was off!  My mom was a little insistent with the office staff and just happened to mention that I have a high p*** tolerance and that I should be checked soon.  I politely and gently reminded her that we don't use the p*** word, since we had not shared our Hypnobabies birth partner guide with backup birth partners!  Soon enough, I was checked for dilation by the midwife and she was definitely surprised to say that I had progressed to 8-9cm dilated already and that I would be admitted downstairs as soon as she could get her keys to open the door!

I was able to walk down two flights of stairs, which I chose to do to help in keeping an active role in the birthing process.  I stopped once to ride out a powerful pressure wave while leaning onto a wall.  We entered one of the birthing rooms and the midwife from the office neatly prepared the room and bed.  I turned onto center and ran the water into the giant whirlpool tub to assist in reaching my special place again.  I had also disrobed and entered the water when it was shallow to begin to repeat scripts in my mind and look for that feeling that I was entering self-hypnosis. 

My mom hurried out to the car to grab my birthing bag, which was luckily parked very closely at this hour.  Upon her return, I asked her to put some Hypnobabies CDs in the CD changer for reinforcement.  I ended up with Enya for a few minutes, but I didn't seem to mind.  Then, she put in an assortment of my home study CDs to help keep my focused on my birthing time.  I'm not even sure which ones she used at this point, but my inner mind knew the music and calmed appropriately to the level of master of relaxation.

I had also just changed to work with the birthing midwife for the day, who happened to be my favorite calming influence anyway, as the office midwife returned to greet the other clients for the day.  Not much effort required here on my part, but a mental note was made.  I breathed through my powerful birthing waves with my hands either floating in the water or caressing my pregnant belly and mentally comforting my unborn child.  I sent messages to him that everything is ok, my body knows just what to do.  I still felt pushy, but I had not experienced the conscious release of my amniotic fluids, likely because I was in the water.  So, I began obliging the pushing sensation and riding the powerful pressure waves that directed the efforts of a quick, comfortable birthing time.  I was directed by the midwife, who somehow understood that I was in a quiet, special place (even without using the sign provided), to allow the pushing to hold my son lower in my body.  I directed my mind to obey that suggestion and allowed the muscles to push lower.  I did have to remind myself that my body knows just what to do and surrender control to that sensation.

Two waves later, I was able to hear the midwife suggest that I touch my son's head!  Previously, I had not considered interacting with the birth in this way.  I wanted to be unable to move a muscle in hypnosis.  Gladly, center switch allowed me to pause between waves and touch my son's head, which was wonderfully affirming.  The next wave brought his head to crowning.  My midwife asked me to embrace the burning sensation and the progress that it indicated.  Honestly, I did not feel that sensation as a burning feeling.  The next wave was very powerful and brought my son's head through the birth canal!  I allowed my body to rest and stretch to the suggestion of 'open' while one last wave brought his shoulders through the birth canal and he gently arrived in the water!

I opened my eyes and could not believe it!  This was my son!  Here, with me, was my beautiful baby, and I held him against my chest and comforted him for the long journey he had just experienced.  He did cry mildly, but was rather a relief to hear him clear his lungs in a gentle way.  I was shocked to turn my switch on and hear the birth time called at 9:56am.  My birthing time was quick, comfortable and I deserved it!

PS Bradley weighed a healthy 8lb 4oz!